Strong marriages are built on communication, not commentary.

 For 32 years, my wife Dellaina and I have been married, and I can honestly say we’ve been blessed. For most of our marriage, I worked while Dellaina stayed home with our children. She devoted herself to being a wife, a mother, and a homemaker. I took pride in providing for our family. To us, that was the ideal marriage. Not because it matched someone else’s expectations, but because it worked for us.

Dellaina has always been incredible in her role. She created a home filled with love, stability, and warmth. Managing a household and raising children is no small task. It requires patience, sacrifice, and consistency. I never viewed what she did as “less than” simply because it didn’t come with a paycheck. And I truly enjoyed carrying the responsibility of providing. That was our partnership.

Lately, though, I’ve noticed something that troubles me. I hear couples talking, and I see posts on TikTok, X, YouTube, and Facebook where spouses publicly complain about their “lazy” husband or “unmotivated” wife. I don’t understand it. Why would anyone air their private struggles for the world to analyze and comment on?

Marriage is personal. It’s layered. It’s complex. No one on social media knows the full story behind a relationship. And even if they did, I doubt most have the credentials or wisdom to offer meaningful marital advice. If there’s a problem, talk to your spouse. Seek counseling. Speak with trusted clergy. Do the hard work privately instead of broadcasting publicly.

So why do I bring this up? Because recently, Dellaina and I experienced a shake-up of our own. I lost my job in retail and made the decision to pursue a new career in real estate. Starting something new is both exciting and humbling. It comes with uncertainty and risk.

With that transition, Dellaina chose to return to the workforce to help support our family while I build this business. She’s up at 4 a.m. and doesn’t get home until between 4 and 5 p.m. That’s a long day by any standard. Naturally, that meant she no longer had the same time to manage the daily routine, getting Gabi up for school, cooking, cleaning, laundry, and all the tasks that keep a household running.

So we did what grown adults in a committed marriage should do ... we talked. We didn’t argue online. We didn’t look for sympathy from strangers. We sat down and came up with a solution that works for us. Since I now have more flexibility in my day, I’ve taken on the majority of the household responsibilities. We still share some of the workload, but much of it is now mine to accomplish.

Not once did I go to Facebook to complain about my wife not cooking or cleaning. Not once did Dellaina go to TikTok to criticize me for not fully providing during this transition. She didn’t call me names, and I didn’t resent her long days. We chose respect. We chose partnership. We chose unity.

Marriage isn’t about keeping score. It’s about navigating seasons together. Sometimes roles change. Sometimes responsibilities shift. The key isn’t who does what, it’s whether you’re united in doing it. After 32 years, I’ve learned that real strength in a marriage isn’t found in public validation. It’s found in private conversations, mutual sacrifice, and standing side by side when life changes.

Dellaina and I are walking through a new chapter, and we’re doing it the same way we’ve handled every other season. By talking, adjusting, and choosing each other daily. Because at the end of the day, love is stronger than pride, unity is stronger than ego, and grace carries you further than criticism ever could. God brought us together to share this love, and it is our responsibility to protect it, nurture it, and endure through every season. Not a faceless stranger on social media. And through it all, we hold tightly to this truth that anchors our home: Dios ama a todos (God loves everyone).